I have been reading “Choosing to SEE” by Mary Beth Chapman. Actually, I am almost finished with it. I bought it a few days before we left the States and started reading it last week. Have you read it? If you haven’t, you need to get it and read it. You will not be disappointed.
Mary Beth is the wife of Christian recording artist, Steven Curtis Chapman (saddle up your horses!). In May 2008, their family was struck with the most umimaginable grief ever – their little girl, Maria, then aged 5, was hit in the driveway by the car that was being driven by their son, Will Franklin. Maria did not make it. The grief was so profound and in her book, Mary Beth is blatantly honest in her struggle with God and self.
One of the biggest things I’ve learned while reading Mary Beth’s book is that it is okay to be open and tell people what’s REALLY going on in my heart. I have had this blog for almost 2 years and I have been hesitant to tell people about it. I have, in fact, told only my closest friends – those who already know about my struggle with depression and who I know will not judge me or think less of me. But, I’m learning that there might be people out there who need to hear what I have to say. And as I started posting on Facebook, I was surprised at the number of people who WANTED to read what I was writing!
I also find this very therapeutic. I can just write what I feel and what is on my heart. Sometimes what I’m feeling is not always what one might think a “missionary” is supposed to feel. But this is where I want to be transparent. I’m tired of saying only what I think will be acceptable. I need to write the truth and let that release do what it must in my own heart.
